Anyone who knows me knows that I love NBC’s Community. It is, in my opinion, one of the greatest shows on television. And thankfully, NBC has renewed the show for a 5th season and has lifted the fear of last night being the series finale to only being the season 4 finale. Last nights episode saw the return of the darkest timeline, an idea from the episode Remedial Chaos Theory in season 3. The episode dealt with the idea that different situations (like who leaves a party to get a pizza) will drastically change the outcome of reality. The “darkest timeline” is the reality in which the worst possible outcome happens and the evil versions of the characters exist.
Tonight, my bro Patric tweeted this:
It got me thinking. What would the hypothetical “darkest timeline” of me and my bros look like. The following are my ideas of what we could be like. (If you do not know me or my friends this will probably be pointless to you)
The Darkest Broline
Following the nuclear launch of 2013 from North Korea many things had changed for the bros.
Casey: With the collapse of the government and technology development coming to a halt, Casey has created his own version of the internet that he can regulate and controls. He also only shows movies like “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank” or “Princess Mononoke” on his version of Netflix.
Jacob (me): Jacob was about to get his final surgery on some of his Chinese throwing star wounds that Jeff had inflicted earlier that year. Most will heal, but he will have a permeant scar on his face. Having become a very good con artist he didn’t have to pay a dime for any of it.
Jeff: Went completely bald at age 22. His tourette’s syndrome worsened over the years and he wasn’t able to do basic functions. In a few years he will honor his pact with Patric and marry him so that Patric could help him.
Patric: Never married Paige. Patric is now organizing a people’s revolution. His groups symbol is a naked Obama riding a unicorn, which every member has branded on their arm. In a few years he will honor his pact with Jeff and marry him.
Matt: Matt had lost all of his hair due to the radiation from the nuclear blast. He became a carnie who specialized in giving out giant stuffed animals to people.
Ethan: After losing one of his hands in another of Jeff’s throwing star incidents, Ethan went to live with wolves in the wild. He bonded with them and they accepted him as one of their own. Patric will recruit Ethan and his pack of wolves to help in the revolution.
There you have it. A quick and stupid take on what the darkest broline might look like. And remember, we could actually be living in the darkest broline. There is no way to know.