The Fig Tree

I haven’t posted anything on here in about 7 months because I forgot my password. I used to have it set up so I was automatically logged in and somehow I got logged out and then I couldn’t remember my login or password. But I’m back, baby!

A lot has happened since my last post. I moved from Idaho after living there for 3 years back to my home state of Texas for a new job. It has been a rough transition and there are things my wife and I miss about Idaho (right now we are missing colder weather and snow) but there are also good things about being in Texas. I also recently got a subscription to Netflix. I know I’m probably one of the last people to do so, but I never really needed/wanted it before. With the release of more original content that I wanted to watch and the announcement of new Gilmore Girls episodes coming to Netflix at some time my wife pretty much demanded that we get a subscription. The first thing I watched when I got my subscription was Aziz Ansari’s series called “Master of None”.

It was a great show and I really enjoyed it but in the last episode there was a quote from Sylvia Plath that has really stuck with me. It is from her novel titled The Bell Jar and I will include it below for you to read.

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

-Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

I have felt this way in the past and sometimes still feel it today. The feeling that there are so many paths I could take or decisions that I could make to alter my life. And while none of them are bad they mean saying no to all the other choices. How do you know which one will yield the best end results? Is there really a best end result?

I want a crystal ball for Christmas.


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